Finally, in a move that will rock all of mustachedom for years to come, facial fur connoisseurs Mr. and Mrs. Moustachio have joined forces, bringing you all 30 of their all-time best follicle features!

Bask in the warming glow of the Top Ten Manliest Mustaches, swoon under the spell of the Top Ten Girliest Mustaches, test your mettle before the mighty Top Five Meatiest Pork Chops, and behold the glory of the Top Five Gnarliest Goats. There’s a lip-liner, a cheek-cushion, a jaw-bristle for every man, woman and child. Soul patches need not apply.

Naturally, Mr. and Mrs. Moustachio would never deprive a face of its luscious locks. Our mustaches are high-quality, cruelty-free, stick-on replicas, robust and meaty and delightfully adhesive. Perfect for costumes, perfect for role-play, perfect for a quick disguise. Easy to apply and remove, these faux-staches are great to give away in goodie bags… or great to keep all to yourself.